Copywriter Wins Walmart Skirmish!

I admit…I almost lost it today while waiting to check out at Walmart  

“Oh! My! Gawd!” shrieked the young woman in front of me, startling me out of my daydreams of chocolate syrup and palm trees. She was pointing to the headline of a tabloid.

Of course, I admit to occasionally peeking at tabloids…y’know, for the headlines and stuff like that. It’s necessary market research for copywriters.

She turns to me “That would make perfect sense!!!” she yells – finger pointing at the headline. I peered over and read “Michael Jackson’s Alive - Traveling In Time!”. Turning to her I said, “That seems to be a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

In a snotty tone, she replied “Well, dontcha know that there are some things we’re not meant to understand?” 

Sure I do, like the ingredients in Peeps that keep them soft for years. But before I could answer, she suggested that I go screw myself explore my own internal cavities.

So I took stock of my appearance – clutching a bottle of cellulite cream that most likely won’t work – the black cohosh for relieving hot flashes supplemental dietary needs — as well as the 3 pounds of assorted chocolate organic mood boosters.  I also noticed an older man near my age leaning against the wall near the entrance waiting patiently for her to check out. The way he was ogling her ass admiring her assets indicated that he wasn’t a parental unit.

It was then I realized this chick in front of me made a BIG mistake in messing with a middle-aged copywriter. We know how to keep clients, generate more business, and sell whatever we have in front of us.

As a result of this, she was going to get an ass-whupping attitude adjustment.

Quickly evaluating her as part of a Target Market which spends an inordinate amount of time on their appearances in order to boost their deficient egos, I sympathetically said <defining the problem>, “Oh honey, I’ve heard that Nature’s Cure is a great product for acne. You’d be such a lovely girl if your skin cleared up!” (she had a total of one pimple on her face, but I didn’t feel the need to point that out)

Her eyes opened wide – I had her attention. I continued <offering related information>, “And if I might mention…your eyes would look a little less close-set if you went a bit lighter on the eye liner, dear.”  

A kindly, compassionate smile was on my face <empathizing with the Target Market>. She appeared confused.

The cashier started ringing up her items – strawberry-scented massage oil, a tank top that read “Hot Pink”  and tootsie pops.

I knew that I had to quickly make that final connection and close the deal.  My voice lowered to a loud whisper…“Though I don’t know about MJ being a time traveler, did you read last week’s Star Magazine? <defining myself as a tabloid reader> They had an article on how older men prey on young women your age and give them all sorts of dreadful sexual diseases!  The pictures were disgusting…especially the oozing sores. you oughtta see ‘em! <providing provocative material> Oh, is that your dad waiting for you over there?” <creating anxiety>

Bingo! Her eyes quickly darted to the cradle-robber older gentleman waiting by the door. She paid for the items and scurried away, not bothering to take the hand he offered her.

I have to admit, I was willing to risk the bad karma. I made my purchases with confidence, knowing that experience counts for much more than youth. If nothing else, copywriting skills give us power to quickly overcome conflict…or instill the need for future therapy.

Onward!

- CB

“Potential” – just another word for “PB & J”

When I hear a copywriter say a client has “potential”, I cringe.

We all know it’s a euphemism for “living on peanut butter & jelly” until the check shows up in the mail.

Let’s face it…we all have to put carrots on the table. One sure way to go hungry is to chase down prospects one at a time.

Here’s what I’ve seen –

New copywriters get tentative nibbles on their marketing efforts and hop with excitement, thinking they’re about to land “the big one”. Meanwhile, they lose their grip on the other lines in the water and the “big one” turns out to be just debris at the bottom of the lake.

In my coaching program, I strongly urge copywriters to follow up with a number of potential prospects at a time. This way, the odds are in favor of gaining a new client or two rather than crying about the one that got away.

As an example, I sent out a proposal this week for a very big contract. It appears I’ll be doing some exciting work for this client, but…

I’m not turning away other clients who are handing over the money right now! 

In my newbie days, I’d hold off – trusting that a particular client would come up with the cash, while allowing the “lesser fish” to swim away. It didn’t take too long before I realized that things don’t always work out as planned.

So although the proposed contract means I’d be guaranteed ongoing income for quite some time, I’ll wait until I see the figures show up in the bank account with my very own eyes.

For now, I’m still working with great clients – enjoying the process – and eating salmon rather than PB & J.

DON’T COUNT ON “POTENTIAL” – give yourself the best shot at success by remaining open to other opportunities.

Hoppily yours,

CB

Would you ACTUALLY buy this product???

Hi friends,

Perhaps this cold has made me a bit crabby today, but I got my tail in a bunch when I read this pitch for an affiliate product:

The Amazing Money-Making Secret Of A 28-year-old Convicted Felon Who Earns More Money Per Year Than The CEOs Of FedEx, eBay(R), Amazon, Time Warner, Apple Computer, McDonalds, Microsoft, Nike, Yahoo, Ford Motor Company, General Motors, And Goodyear Combined!

Let’s take a few minutes to dissect exactly what’s being said. For all we know, it’s all true, but how does it land? (in between my sneezing and coughing, it didn’t land well on me!)

“The Amazing Money-Making Secret Of A 28-year-old Convicted Felon” 

Although I’m going to assume that this person’s felonious conviction occurred in something other than forgery, my initial reaction is to make sure no one’s stolen my purse. The chances of a reader handing over money to this guy are slim to none.

Next part…

“Who Earns More Money Per Year Than The CEOs Of FedEx, eBay(R), Amazon, Time Warner, Apple Computer, McDonalds, Microsoft, Nike, Yahoo, Ford Motor Company, General Motors, And Goodyear Combined”

The focus is on sensationalism (Who Earns More Per Year) which is thenfollowed by the assumption that the reader will see the list of reputable Fortune 500 companies and align the “felon” within the same category.

<heavy sigh>

 My opinion aside, there’s an attempt at utilizing basic copywriting elements such as –

-       Being provocative – This does NOT mean making claims that are beyond belief, such as a woman’s claim of an extraterrestrial impregnating her with Elvis’s love child.

-       Gaining attention – It got my attention, but not in a positive manner. My preference is not to purchase something online from an unknown character who’s dabbled in crime.

-       Aligning with “big names” – listing 12 other companies is overkill. Also, the average reader sees these companies as virtual Goliaths…untouchable. Which only makes the claim less believable.

Note: I did NOT say that the claim isn’t true…merely that it’s a bit tough to believe.

Now, one of the biggest issues is that the reading flow is very clunky. When you want to judge how your own writing is progressing, there’s a very way to avoid “clunkiness”…read everything you write out loud.

Getting to hear how the words fall on your ears will quickly pinpoint where the verbiage slows, or where you may need to cut back. It’s my experience that most copywriters get waaaay too chatty and verbose rather than focusing on “speed of the read”.

Check your copy for hesitation-verbiage such as the word “and”. Try to eliminate as many of those as possible without disrupting the flow of the copy.

Look for times you’ve injected the narrator’s view. This shows up as “I see that” or “In my experience” or “I just need to say this” type of thing. When you insert that narrator’s voice, then the reader becomes aware that there’s another person involved in the conversation. At times, it’s necessary, but try to use that to your advantage.

Now…

Let’s take the headline above — give it a bit of room to run…

Discover the Top Money-Making Secrets Of A Falsely-Accused Felon Who NOW

Earns MORE Money Than The CEO’s of 7 Fortune 500 Companies!

From here, some of the companies could be listed. But not so much that there’s overkill. The reader would then jump directly into the body of the copy which would substantiate the claims and learn how this affiliate program may benefit them.

That, my friends, is my quick and crabby post for today!

Hoppily yours,

CB

P.S. If you’d like to send me a direct email with comments or suggestions, feel free to do so at cb@copybunny.com

How Important Are Demographics?

I heard it yet again today…”Find the demographics for the product, and the copy will write itself!”

Yeah right…here’s what I’ve found to be true.

Contrary to what some high-profile marketers suggest, don’t look to standard demographics for an assessment of your audience…

Instead, look at their VALUES.

For predicting anyone’s lifestyles, purchasing habits, social concerns, spirituality, etc… typical measurements don’t hold up. 

Standard demographics would have you believe that standards of income are “the key” to insider information on various groups. Copy falls flat if you use those old models.

Consider there are groups that have widely diverse ranges of income, age, education or occupation – but share similar VALUES.

If you look deeply enough, there are subcultures found within demographic ranges. Look to a demographic specialist, such as sociologist Paul H. Ray for further illumination on the subsets.  

For example…

“Moderns” don’t rank highly in terms of being on the religious right (as “Heartlands” do).   Where they do rank highest is that they believe in financial materialism (not a bad thing!) and they also rank highest in terms of altruism, or “giving back”.  

This doesn’t mean they’re at odds with the Heartlands demographics.

Both Heartlands and Moderns agree that they want to rebuild neighborhoods and communities, as well as take a firm stand against violence to women and children.

Here’s a key difference to note which doesn’t appear in traditional demographics …

In terms of relationship-orientation, 55% of Heartlands want a traditional relationship — only 25% of Moderns want their relationships to fall within the established structure.  Good to know if you’re writing copy for the wedding market!

Now, within each of these broad groupings are sub-groupings. This is where the “juicy” stuff comes in…

Here are a few examples of subdivisions within the Modern category –

Economic Conservatives – most affluent segment of Modernists, with a strong work ethic. Likely to oppose ecological sustainability.  

Conventional  – mainstream and more cynical. Dislike both Heartland and Cultural Creatives.

Striving Centers – upward mobility is their main thrust, but also yearn for spiritual meaning.

Alienated Moderns – disillusioned who have lost better-paying jobs or have poor job prospects.

You won’t find that in the occupation/income/ethnic breakdown of standard demographics!

Is this imperative to your business?  Most certainly!  Almost every business has a “draw” for a specific group. Hot buttons, emotional triggers…it’s essential to know who you’re speaking to.

Other issues to take into consideration could be experiences with alternative health care, love of foreign lands, feminism, pro-social justice, etc….

I’ve highlighted 2 demographic groups but there are others to take into consideration as well.  (My favorite demographic to write copy for is the Cultural Creative…very fulfilling)

Save yourself a lot of time and money by digging beyond demographics.  Find your TA. Connect with them by research or interviews. (I suggest interviews)   Get enough of a cross-section so you know exactly how to position your marketing.

And…

Have fun with it!

Hoppily yours,

Copy Bunny

Do You Have BSO?

“Bright Shiny Object Syndrome” is common among entrepreneurs. It’s the inability to see clearly once a new opportunity is sensed.

Symptoms:

-       Inability to complete a project before engaging in another.

-       Broken promises and under-delivery of results

-       Scattered energy rather than clear plan of attack

Warning signs: High level of excitement coupled with anxiety over possibly missing “the big one” – also known as “the million dollar idea”.

Unfortunately, this leads to social and vocational decline as a lack of follow-through becomes standard. Word spreads quickly throughout professional circles and joint ventures are avoided with this person.

A sense of urgency overtakes the reasoning and cognitive capabilities of the brain. Much like an alcoholic with a hangover -  the individual has perhaps a moment of clarity before the need for a “rush” takes them over again.

Treatment – Many individuals with BSO Syndrome are not seeking treatment. Rather, they delude themselves that the people surrounding them merely aren’t as aware of the fantastic opportunity as they themselves are.

Issue: A good sum of money changes hands when people are excited to be sold their dream. Talk is cheap and easy for someone immersed in BSO syndrome. Unfortunately, the money flows into their pockets, but their client is left with only a “learning experience”.

Case Study: 

Mr. Superstar Marketer has several viable projects on-the-go. Most of these are not getting the attention deserved as they near the final stages of completion. Instead, he has moved onto his latest “love child”, which is the creation of his own public speaker training.

Rather than seeing the other projects to fulfillment — which would provide ongoing income to fund himself and his team – his focus has shifted and the current projects have been relegated to “secondary status”. Thus losing credibility and viable revenue. A trail of unhappy clients and unresolved issues lies in his wake. He is forced to always go to “the new market” where people aren’t aware of his swindles.

 No amount of repeated failure sways BSO addicts from their behavior. Their self-induced sense of superiority will not allow them to admit they may have made a mistake.

 If you recognize yourself in any of the indicators listed above, take on a time-management system such as Basecamp. Get organized to remove the possibility of receiving the unwelcome news that someone is taking legal recourse against you for not delivering what you promised!

- CB

P.S. A lot of time-management systems are easy to use and help us work-from-home types keep our integrity and professional creds intact.

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