Jesse James, Tiger Woods and Response Rates

I’ve wasted time thinking about these celebrities. Wondering why it is that – even when it appears they have everything – they still seek external validation of their worth. Both of them were literally at the top of their game, so it’s not a desperate cry for market share.

These men opted to engage in situations outside the relationship which they purport to value the most (their marriages). Now they’re struggling to regain the “paradise lost”

Paradise is the ability to know you’re in it before you’re cast out of it.

Ah well….this is yet another confirmation that God/Spirit/Divine Being has a sense of humor. One of the smallest parts of a man’s anatomy is the part that gets him in the biggest trouble.

But let’s get to copywriting, shall we?

There are several obvious camps (or styles) in the copywriting arena. Bear in mind that the following are non-scientific and purely of my own classfication system:

I’ll even sell you Grandma! – This is the over-the-top, hard-hitting type of stuff. Easily distinguishable by the number of times they push the fear/panic buttons in the copy. Not to mention that you feel like you’re getting yelled at.

This is still around and seen regularly in certain markets such as weight loss or fitness. The emotional hot buttons of insecurity, low self-esteem, as well as “tired of being a loser” strike a note of desperation in this market.  

But other niches are shunning this style of copy, opting instead for something more heartful (we can only hope that this is an indication of how society is progressing as a whole).

“Chick-a-boom, chick-a-maw-wow” – Greasy. Think of 70’s porn, thick mustaches and hairy chests. It ain’t pretty, but there’s still an active target market for it.  (you know I’m talking copy, right?) This copy overemphasizes the benefits while downplaying the pimples and stinky armpits.  If taken at face value, there’s not much in terms of real-life.

This type of copy tries to sway the reader into thinking they’ve found an easy cure for everything from hemorrhoids to the neighbor’s barking dog.  

Pick Me-Me-Me! – There’s a lot to be said on allowing the reader to unearth “aha moments” for themselves. One of the copywriters I worked with had an ingrained habit of inserting herself into the copy. As in…
 “I interviewed Frank and his team about Product XYZ, and here’s what they had to say.”

This creates a distance between Product XYZ and the reader. Instead, they’re forced to notice the use of first-person vernacular in the sales letter. Think of it as an uninvited guest at a small, intimate dinner party…determined to do all the talking.

The copywriter then went on to report what “they told her”. She was inadvertently trying to be the star of the story, thus effectively stealing the thunder of the product and its developer.

At times, narrative can work but not throughout the entire letter. Using varying degrees of copy elements  keeps it interesting.

Allow me to say, this next one is worst of all…

Clueless – This is when the reader has NO IDEA that something’s being sold! The offer sneaks up on them before jumping out of nowhere and yelling SURPRISE!!!

The response rate drops dramatically when you’re too shy/embarrassed/hesitant to let the reader know what’s up. Soooo many beginner copywriters say, “I’m just not comfortable with selling.” Here’s what I tell them…

When writing copy, always give it at least 20% more selling verbiage than you’re comfortable with. Then, go back and read the letter. What typically happens is that while we’re immersed in the writing, we become more sensitive to this aspect. But viewed from a potential buyer’s perspective (remember that they haven’t pored over this for weeks), it tends to be more diluted than the writer might think.

So get over your own inhibitions and just put it out there!!!

Never ever should you NEGLECT TO MENTION that there is a solution which can be purchased!!!

I realize the above categories are less-than-scientific, but hey…you’re in my world now! Hope you’re enjoying the ride.

Hoppily,

CB